Hello everyone! Welcome to my Corner!
Two years ago, in 2017 when I was TWELVE, my mom proposed a Hobbit book club for our friends. She started things off with a special breakfast for my brother and I, with new Hobbit books, journals, and gel pen sets as part of the table settings.
(Yep, that’s me in the Puerto Rico t-shirt and the pool-bleached hair)
One of our ongoing projects was to find all the metaphors and similes in our Hobbit readings (there’s a difference. Similes use “like”).
As you can see, we were very concerned about “stealing” one another’s metaphors. What can I say, we’re a competitive bunch.
We also had to make a timeline of the events in each chapter.
A highlight of the book club was the feasts at the end of each meeting. These spider-themed cookies and cupcakes were perfect for the “Flies and Spiders” chapter.
One of the projects was creating a staff like Gandalf’s. We took some long sticks, cut off the branches, sanded them down, and decorated them. We filled any cracks with wax so that the sticks wouldn’t split. I was very proud of mine. It had a two-pronged, forked tip, and a handle jutting out that was perfect for swinging it around. I carved Gandalf’s initial (the Elven letter G) and “one ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness, bind them” in the script of Mordor into the shaft, and then painted the letters with glow-in-the-dark paint. It looked really cool.
There’s another feast.
Another project was carving an Arkenstone out of Ivory soap. Did you know that Ivory soap floats because it is mixed with air during the production process so that people who used to bathe in the rivers wouldn’t lose it? I had this idea of the Arkenstone being a large, white, faceted diamond. Here was my plan for it.
This is how it turned out. It’s amazing how such brilliant plans turn out so horribly.
Alright, here’s another feast.
Yet another project was carving our names into wooden blocks and painting them. I practiced writing my name in long, flowing letters in my journal before burning it into the wood with a wood-burner. Aulë is my favorite Valar, the divine beings that Iluvatar (the God-figure in Tolkien’s universe) creates to look over Middle-earth. Aule is the Vala of earth, arts, and crafts, so I decided to burn the reverse hammer and sickle next to my name. This works because I read that the reverse image of the swastika means something good in India, so why can’t the reverse hammer and sickle be the symbol for Aulë? I carved his name into the side of the board too.
Alright, here is some more food to make you all happy.
Our last project was to make a huge map of Middle-earth.
Man, how many feasts did we have?
Finally, we set the table and had a most grand and glorious feast for our farewell party.
Then we huddled around the candles, recited some prepared pieces, and set off some Gandalf-inspired fireworks.
But it was far from over.
The next year, we decided to follow-up with a Fellowship of the Ring book club.
The projects included mini hobbit holes inside plastic fishbowls using a lot of potting soil, decorating mugs with quotes (there’s Aulë’s name again. Also, I spelled Morgoth wrong), wood burning decorative arrows (I must have a thing for Aulë), tiny, water-filled vials containing a tiny golden ring and a tiny map, and a dictionary of uncommon words.
There were, of course, more feasts.
Then, for my fourteenth birthday later that year, I decided to have it be Lord of the Rings-themed, of course.
The decorations were really great.
Each room in the house was decorated in the manner of the people of Middle-earth: Hobbits, Elves, Dwarves, and Men. I hid secret messages throughout the house, sending everyone on quests that involved finding the Ring and finding a way to destroy the Ring.
In one game, we had to make our way through collapsing Dwarven halls by timing ourselves as we made our way through a Chrono-bomb matrix erected especially for the occasion.
We prayed, as usual, and ate (as usual). There was lembas and berries and honeycomb, just like Tom Bombadil and his wife had.
We didn’t have any Cracks of Doom on hand to destroy the Ring (my dad’s golden ring), but we did have a Lake of Eternal Frost (our ironically frigid jacuzzi).
For presents, I got The Fall of Gondolin and a deluxe glass chess and checkers set, which had absolutely nothing to do with the Lord of the Rings.
Our family somehow managed to earn a reputation as Lord of the Rings mega-fans. I wonder why?
Your friend,
Christopher